This Golden Hour

67. Yesenia Faiella and Mama of Both Worlds

• Timothy Eaton

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In today’s episode, we get to spend time with Yesenia Faiella, founder and creator of Mama of Both Worlds. Yesenia shares her journey from being an attorney to becoming an entrepreneur by passion, while homeschooling her three boys in the North Shore of Oahu, Hawaii. She discusses the challenges and rewards of homeschooling, the importance of community support, and how she balances her professional and personal life. Yesenia also provides valuable insights for new homeschool families and entrepreneurs, emphasizing the importance of aligning your work with your passions and values.

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Mama of Both Worlds
mamasnextmove.com

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Wild and Free

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Yesenia Faiella:

And you just have to keep going because very few things that we start for the first time are a huge success right out the gate. And so we can't have that expectation for homeschooling

Timmy Eaton:

Hi, I'm Timmy Eaton, homeschool father of six and doctor of education. We've been homeschooling for more than 15 years and have watched our children go from birth to university successfully and completely without the school system. Homeschooling has grown tremendously in recent years and tons of parents are becoming interested in trying it out. But people have questions and concerns and misconceptions and lack the confidence to get started. New and seasoned homeschoolers are looking for more knowledge and peace and assurance to continue homeschooling. The guests and discussions on this podcast will empower anyone thinking of homeschooling to bring their kids home and start homeschooling. And homeschoolers at all stages of the journey will get what they need and want from these conversations. Thank you for joining us today and enjoy this episode of this Golden Hour Podcast as you exercise, drive, clean, or just chill. You're listening to this golden hour podcast. In today's episode, we get to spend time with Yesenia Faella, founder and creator of Mama of Both Worlds. Yesenia shares her journey From being an attorney to becoming an entrepreneur by passion while homeschooling her three boys in the North shore of Oahu, Hawaii. She discusses the challenges and rewards of homeschooling, the importance of community support, and how she balances her professional and personal life. Yesenia also provides valuable insights for new homeschool families and entrepreneurs, emphasizing the importance of aligning your work with your passions and values. Welcome back to this golden hour podcast. Today. We are so grateful to have with us. Yes. Senia Fiella. And she is coming to us from Hawaii. And where are you in Hawaii? Actually. We're up on the North

Yesenia Faiella:

shore of Oahu.

Timmy Eaton:

And I, when we were talking before I pressed play, I noticed the palm trees in the back and the ocean. And I was going, you're like actually there. That's not just some fancy background on zoom or something.

Yesenia Faiella:

Right now I moved. So you can see there's no green screen effect. Yeah. No

Timmy Eaton:

kidding. No, that worked. So you guys saw it. Just saying it is the founder and creator of mama of both worlds. And we're going to get into talked about her, how that evolved into the business that she runs to help mothers create businesses and to And to still hold on to their most important role as mothers. She is a homeschool mother of three boys. Is that correct?

Yesenia Faiella:

Yes,

Timmy Eaton:

indeed. And and we're so excited for you to be with us. So thank you for taking time today.

Yesenia Faiella:

Thank you. I'm really excited to be here. Homeschool is a big passion of mine and I love being able to speak about it, any opportunity I get.

Timmy Eaton:

Indeed. Indeed. I'm finding that that's a commonality among homeschool people. So I love that. So can you give us a bio of yourself and just tell us a little bit about where you're coming from and what you do? And then we'll talk specifically about homeschool.

Yesenia Faiella:

Yeah, awesome. So I am a, like you said, a mama of three living on the Island of Oahu with my family, my husband and I guess by trade, I am an attorney, so I'm an attorney by trade, but I am an entrepreneur by passion. And I really have just a passion for growing and learning. And I think that I felt a little boxed in a traditional nine to five setting. And I think it makes sense just all the pieces as they're coming together of my life as they unfold. It's okay, yes. Very just unconventional choices that we've made as a family unit. But yes, a attorney by trade entrepreneur by passion. My husband and I are actually business partners. So we ran a law firm together. And then when we shut that down to move to Hawaii, he came on he came on board and joined me with mama of both worlds. And so we're both simultaneously running the business, homeschooling our children and exploring, the beautiful Island that we get to call home now.

Timmy Eaton:

Wow. And when did you make that move from you were in Connecticut before you went to Hawaii? Yes. So we've been

Yesenia Faiella:

here now 15 months. So we came December of 2022.

Timmy Eaton:

Oh, I didn't realize it was that recently. That's great. Oh, I seriously love here. And how was that transition for your kids?

Yesenia Faiella:

I think that it was just all great timing. And I say that taking into account, like the fact that we all had really just come out of a lockdown and a pandemic and we were living in Connecticut where the cold made it really hard to, do much of anything, especially during those winter months. And I had a third child in 2021. So we had a newborn, so we were even being more cautious, and so I think it was just perfect timing where we were all ready for something new and to explore. And because we were homeschooling It wasn't like they were like leaving behind like a full class of like students and they were gonna have to find a new school. Yeah, there are gonna be new things that we had to, encounter. But, and I was telling you this before the call, we came and stayed for an entire month. And during that month, they made friends. And when we moved here, we moved back to that same community. And so we already had a footprint here and we knew what we were coming back to. So I think that made it a lot easier for them.

Timmy Eaton:

And what's the age ranges of your boys?

Yesenia Faiella:

So right now Our youngest will be three in May, and then we have a six and a half year old and a ten and a half year old.

Timmy Eaton:

Oh, okay. So that's actually a good time because they, that's still where they're just can be right in the nest for most of what happens. So that's great. So how did you like, what was your first exposure to homeschool? Like, how'd you get into it? When did you first hear of it? And did you grow up being homeschooled or?

Yesenia Faiella:

I did not and I don't even honestly like my husband and I were talking about this recently about when like whenever people in his school would transition from homeschooling into high school because we both, went to traditional school. And I was like, I don't even have recollections of that happening for me. I don't even know that I knew homeschooling was a thing growing up. I don't think I was ever really introduced to anyone who homeschooled the concept. So for me, I was thinking about this, like, where did I learn about it? And I honestly think it was like social media, I think just. Scrolling on Instagram, connecting my whole thing was connecting with other moms. And so I would come across these accounts that they were homeschooling and just coming across their account would then lead me down a rabbit hole. And I would start, looking further into it and further into it and then Pinterest. And then you get these blogs and then you had all of these amazing, authors with these books that just made a huge impact on my decision to dive into homeschool. So I think it was, social media.

Timmy Eaton:

Wow. That's, that is it's cool to hear that because that is I think, I don't want to say, I don't want to use the word trend, but that's the modern way. I feel like a lot more people are finding that way, so I did my dissertation on homeschooling and in the early days, it was really this splitting of like ideologues and pedagogues and people were coming from, Literally very few camps and now it's so common that people are coming from all over all walks to the homeschool option. And so it's cool to hear like the modern way of how this goes down and how people are introduced to it. And so what did you start reading at first? What what kind of stuff did you start looking into at first?

Yesenia Faiella:

Yeah, so the very first book I read was Wild and Free by Ainsley Arman. And it just opened up my eyes and I was like, wow. I had been having these feelings. I will say that. As I started to, hear about homeschooling, even before my son went to school, I started seeing these things. Cause my oldest went to kindergarten. And so before he was enrolled, I started telling my husband about it. I'm like, I just don't know how I feel about him going off to school for so many hours of the day. And then my wife said,

Timmy Eaton:

yeah, I

Yesenia Faiella:

was just like, I don't know how I feel about this. And I think before you give it much thought you're like, but it's just not something we can do. And I, I don't know why that's like the automatic thought, right? Response instead of, but I think it just felt so foreign to me. I'm like, I don't know the first thing about it. And I think that, especially, I think most of us can relate to this when you're deciding to make such a big decision. You're like, do I have what it takes? Can I teach my son? Can I, or my children, can I be what they need? And we hold this really high standard that is, Probably impossible for teachers to me if we're being honest, right? What we think goes into what it's going to take to actually educate our children. So just started having these thoughts and then, told him that I really wanted to do that. And I think at first, cause he had no idea about homeschooling. He's we're not homeschooling. Like we, what do you mean homeschooling? Like we have to work and we have to do all these things. I'm like, yeah, I know, but I think we could do this. And we did, we sent him to kindergarten and he went to kindergarten in the year. That the pandemic happened. So he was sent home pretty quickly, right? Like I think, five months into the school year. And if that wasn't a sign, I don't know what was, he belongs at home with

Timmy Eaton:

us. Yeah. That's awesome. I will. And I love that you said that, The way that you actually got into it was your interest in motherhood, basically. And so how, where did that come from? Besides the obvious that you're a mother, but like I'm saying that interest of really connecting with other moms and diving into that role as a mother.

Yesenia Faiella:

So I, I feel like motherhood's changed me and in all of the best ways. And I do think that there's this It's main push of like how we lose ourselves in motherhood. And I get that. And I can accept that can be someone's reality. I feel like I found myself in motherhood. I feel like I found pieces of myself that I didn't even know existed. And so when I had my son, I was on a 10 week maternity leave, had to go back when he was 10 weeks old. And I hated it. I was miserable. And then I realized that the work I was doing, I'm like, I'm leaving my son for this. What is happening? Like I'm missing out on all these moments and on all this. I'm not even feeling like I'm being valued as a member of this, job. And I started having all of these thoughts and ideas of I need to do something. I need to make it so that I can be with my son. And it took some time. But when he was 18 months old, I did. I gave my notice. I quit. I was the staff attorney at a local probate court. And I quit and opened up my own firm and I had no business starting a business because I had graduated law school and gone straight into working into a court setting. I wasn't representing clients. And here I was saying, I'm going to open up my own firm and represent clients. And here we go. And so my husband is also an attorney. So we went to college together, then law school together. And he was in that setting. And I knew that he would support me and answer any questions that I had and that he could be someone I could lean on to make my way through. And he was. So I quit my job, started my own law firm, and I think that just Being exposed to that freedom and that flexibility, I felt like putting my children in school was going to tie us down more. And I'm like, wait, I thought that I wanted the freedom and I want it to be with my children. And that's a long about way to answer your question, but I think it was, I knew what it felt like to feel, just feelings and emotions that I Was ashamed of. I was like, I am jealous. I'm angry. I know that there are people who get to stay home with their kids and I'm not doing that. Then you feel guilty for feeling that way because You know, you have everything, right? It's what are you complaining about? You have a good job and good hours and a home and a kid. And so I knew that there had to be other moms feeling that way. And so I wanted to connect with them and show them that they weren't alone and show them that, what you actually can have the best of both worlds, which is where my business name came out from, mama of both worlds that you could, have a, Significant career or business or what have you and still be a present mom and just build a life where your work was scheduled around your children instead of your children having to be scheduled around your work.

Timmy Eaton:

Wow. Said. And I'm so glad you just defined that, that the meaning of that title, mom of both worlds. And that's awesome. And talk a little bit more about that. What have you. What have you learned is like how manageable is that for, you have three busy boys and and clients and you also have a business. And so how have you done that? And then, and maybe tie in the concept of freedom. You mentioned the freedom. Cause if you're tied to a school, you really are like we've homeschooled the whole time. We've got six kids. I've had two graduate and they're on to the next thing, but they've all gone all the way through homeschool. And but my kids play high school sports and still and that even ties us and breaks into the freedom and it actually bugs us a lot. So anyway, we're in the midst of some challenging decisions, but anyway, coming back to you, like I, that was a long thing to say, how have you managed that? Because that is a struggle. And a lot of moms who either need to have an income or want to have a career plus fulfill their role as mothers. How do they do it?

Yesenia Faiella:

I think that, what I attribute that to is really being able to overcome other people's opinions and society's expectations of me as a woman, as a mother, and as a business owner. I actually had to sit down and think about this because I wanted to really convey that to moms. I wanted to explain to them, how have I been able to do this? Let me think about it. What have I been able to achieve and how? And when I sat down and thought about it, I was like, you know what? It was really overcoming those expectations of me as a mom, as a woman, as a business owner, when I quit my job and I opened my own firm, I was doing it from my office. And I think a lot of people just saw me as, It's the stay at home mom and they didn't see me as a business owner. And so I had someone who was coming in to watch our son two days a week cause I had, he was so 20 months when I quit. I had court appearances and I had court hearings and I had clients be with, I still needed to work at that time in a traditional, more traditional sentence. But people just were like no, you're home. So you should be home with your son. And there wasn't that like understanding. And so I really had to let go of these definitions. What does it mean to be a present mom? I need to define that for myself. And what does it mean to be a business owner? What Does it mean to have success for me? Is it a certain dollar amount or is it the ability to do what I love, but also to have time to spend with the ones I love? What does it mean to hustle? Because sometimes there's that like negative connotation around hustling and it's Oh, you're doing too much. But again, nobody can define that but you. Yeah. And so I can't try to live up to someone else's standard. So really just letting go of what other people thought I should be doing. Again, I had a law degree that I walked away from and there was a lot of Oh my goodness. You went to school for this and all these student loans and you have to use this and there's a lot of pressure. Right. And even, then homeschooling your children. I feel like even though it's 2024, man, we haven't gotten across this like stereotype of,

Timmy Eaton:

It's gotten way better, but we still have work to do. Yeah.

Yesenia Faiella:

And so there's, like the. It comes from a place of concern, right? And I say this when I talk about it, I say it comes from a place of concern. And so what my job was to not give people a reason to be concerned, right? And so if I was confident in my decisions and I wasn't like on the fence trying to make them feel comfortable, then they would feel comfortable if I was just, Hey, I'm really secure in this. Like we're confident. I like, initially we had told people like We took him out. We're not sending him back the first year because there's all it's just going to be a different experience for him and so we're going to wait till things like go back to normal. And I think that at the time was the easy thing for me to say to people. You don't want to

Timmy Eaton:

get into it with everybody. You

Yesenia Faiella:

don't want to get into it. But then it's Hey, that year is coming towards an end. And so people are like, so you're going to send him back now. And you got to register your second one. Cause he's going to start. And we had made the decision that we were going to continue homeschooling. And I learned very quickly. I just have to tell them so that there's no wiggle room here. And so they don't have to feel like they need to offer me alternatives and offer me phone numbers to contact and, things like that. If I am secure in the decision, then they're not going to be worried. And then they won't insert their opinion. And if they do, That's fine too. That's their truth, but it doesn't have to be mine.

Timmy Eaton:

Oh, that's so well said. I love it. And the other thing is until you get to that point of working out your I love what you said about, I asked myself these questions what does it mean to be a present mom? What does it mean for me to be successful? And anything like that, it was you coming to your own description and explanation, and then trying to adhere to the conventions of societal or cultural norms and whatever else you're going, what's true for me. And then when you come to that, like when you come to your personal purpose, then it is a lot easier to say in your skin Hey, this is what I'm doing. And unapologetically, and it doesn't have to be defensive. It's just no, this is how I'm doing it. And what's interesting about it is it actually empowers other people who also are asking questions. And that's what I'm finding. So many people are asking questions about education. And I don't know why we've abandoned common sense for so long and but I do feel like a lot of us have the, we have, we're so institutionalized that we don't ask those questions. And so I'm wondering what it is. It'd probably be hard to nail down, but your background that, that got you to a point where you asked those questions. Can you think of that? Like why were you asking those questions? Is that your nature? What is it about you that you were like, no man, what do I think? And I'm going to do what I want. You quit a law degree and practice and to to do some stuff that would be scary for a lot of people.

Yesenia Faiella:

Yeah. I think that partly it's part of who I am and it's my personality. And if we had my husband on here, he'd have so much to say about how I'm just like, Oh, we should have

Timmy Eaton:

had him on. That'd be fun.

Yesenia Faiella:

Yeah. Yeah, it would have been fun. Cause I'm definitely the person who's ready to jump and he will jump with me, but I've got to come on, you, we can do this. And he's for it. But I'm the one that's always I have an idea. And he's okay, here we go again, another idea, and so partly it's just who I am. I think I'm always ready for something new and something different and not wanting to take that traditional route. I don't. I don't know what it is. Even, even my decision to go, to college, I'm the first in my immediate family to go away to college and even though it was like a 35 minute drive commute, I decided to live on campus. Cause I was like, I want the full experience and I want to do things differently. And I, so I think partly it's who I am and then partly it's who I want my children to be. Yeah. And so I know that if I want them to have experiences and make tough decisions and I have to do it first and I have to show them what's possible and my kids, they're just like my greatest motivation. I think that a lot of times. What happens is we have kids and so it's easy to not take the jump, not take the risk because we have our kids to, to worry about now, before I had kids, it was just me, right? Me and my husband, we could fend for ourselves and we could, we'll make it work. We'll figure it out. But when you have kids, it's easy to say we have to be more cautious and we have to take less risk and we have to think about things a little bit more. And. Yes. But I'm also like, I want to do this for them. They're the reason why I'm doing this because I want to have fun and I want to, I don't want to have to, for me, like with working, it was like, I don't want to have to go to the job every single day. And my, it's funny because like my six year old has no school. No, he does not understand. I'm like, so like when I have to do like calls or something, I'm like, you don't really understand, but this is not quote unquote normal, right? You get mommy and daddy a lot. And we're here a line, even when I'm working, I'm here and you're here. It's just funny. Cause he doesn't have any other context to understand. That's all he knows. That's all he knows, and my two year old forget about it. That's literally like he's just even more.

Timmy Eaton:

No, that is why you have to take your kids to certain situations, actually just communicate that and talk to them, have discussions about, how it's do you know what it's like in, in most homes and even expose them to other situations. Oh, there's so much you said there. I do want to come back to the more homeschool questions, but I, because we're talking about this in the context of these two worlds of being a mother at home with your children and also being a business person, maybe describe a little bit about what you do for your business and helping moms who are wanting to do the same thing. They want to fulfill their role as not necessarily homeschool moms, but as mother, but they, they do want to Build a business or whatever it is. What is it that you do? Maybe describe that and how you implement these principles that you're talking to into your business.

Yesenia Faiella:

Yeah. So I started mama of both worlds in 2018 as a motherhood blog, and I started it just to share my story of what I had been able to do, quit my job and started my business and we were traveling more and it was just, I needed an outlet. I needed a creative outlet. I was still doing law and I felt like I'm lacking some creativity here, man. And I need something to keep my fun spirit going. So I started this blog and Instagram account and just started connecting with other moms. And the goal really with that was to do blogging and maybe like some brand partnerships, things like that. But I had moms reaching out to me and they were saying, can you teach me how to do what you did? And I was like, that would be amazing. I would absolutely love to do that. And Oh my gosh, get more women into this like new found, Hey, I can have the best of both worlds. Let's do it. And so I started taking clients on a one on one basis and working with them to get their businesses up and running and how to market for themselves. It's what I had done for the law firm. So I was doing that for the law firm. I was marketing and we were networking and we were building and, All of those things. And I realized I actually love the building of my business more than I love what I'm doing in the business. So the law started taking a backseat and two years into starting a law firm, I was able to pave the way for my husband to quit his job and join me in practice. Yeah. I was able to lean on him and say, you do more of the law stuff. I'm going to go over here. And I started working with moms and doing that. And it's been really fun. It's been really inspiring and really great to be that person that they can come to and that they can rely on and ask questions of and just help them see what's possible. I love to lead by example. So I love to, I'm very like open about sharing like what our day looks like, what our schedule looks like. And for a long time though, I wasn't sharing the homeschool piece only because I was like, I don't know if my like ideal client, homeschooler. And then I saw, you know what it's less about what I'm doing with my time and more about, I have the time to do it. And that's the message I want to be sharing with them. You can do whatever you want with your time. I choose to homeschool. And because of that, I had to build my business differently, right? It wasn't just about wanting to be a present mom. Now I had to educate my children and think about that. It wasn't like I could send them to school and they could get all that there and then come home. So I needed to build my schedule in a way where yes, I had time for my clients, but also time to teach my kids, engage with my kids and then time to be mom. Cause I feel like there's a separation in on some days, right? I won't say all the time. And I think that the more you homeschooled, the less separation there is. And you just start to really lean into you're the best teacher for your child. And we don't have to separate that out. And there's learning happening all around. I do think that in the beginning, though, you are fighting with that. That's one of the big, biggest challenges of starting homeschool. I'm sorry. I'm totally,

Timmy Eaton:

No, you're hitting so many important. We keep going with that thought.

Yesenia Faiella:

Okay. Yeah,

Timmy Eaton:

you're saying when you're starting homeschooling you're you don't know, you don't know yet. So you're thinking, man, am I, can I do this? Can I do that? But what were you, what was the thought you were going to complete there?

Yesenia Faiella:

Yeah. And just navigating that, like between being their mom and being their teacher and you start to think, but I have to teach, I have to teach. And then you become like less motherly. Or then it's I'm too motherly. I'm not teaching them enough. And you're like, fighting with that. What role am I in today? And I think the longer you do it, you start to realize it's just one role.

Timmy Eaton:

It's no, it's the same thing, man. It's parenting. It's just, it's being mom. You're just being mom.

Yesenia Faiella:

Yeah. Yeah. And so I do, I feel like that's just one of the biggest challenges and I see it in a lot of Facebook groups I'm in for homeschooling where people are wanting to start and they're like, I just don't know how to navigate that. Like, how can I get them to sit down and listen and how can I get them to do their work or how can I, all those questions. It's because we're thinking of like the teacher that we see in the school, who, by the way, is trying to, she's in control of a responsible for 20 plus students. So yes, she has to fit that model, where we're at home in a very comfortable environment with our children, where, just the natural conversation they're learning. And the

Timmy Eaton:

implication of time, like that is probably the hugest aspect to this is the implication of time. Like when you think cause people think in their head, man, I can't do six to eight hours and you're going to do it. It takes to have a meaningful and it depends on people do it like in such a variety of ways, as if it's one size fits all, that's one of the things that I've been doing just recently, and we'll talk about it later. But I just put out this little ebook on, on de schooling and I call it basically the first step to customizing your homeschool plan, because a lot of families like, man, how do I do this? How do I do that? And I understand the questions, but if you understand the principles that are behind it, then you can apply them to your family in any way that you want. And you start shedding these misconceptions or misunderstandings of, Oh, like you have these assumptions of how the day has to go. And then you just go, Oh, like I can totally like craft that in my own way, according to my family, according to the abilities or disabilities of children or It's just beautiful. It's, and you said the word at the beginning, it's freedom and flexibility that you just can't get with any other education or lifestyle option. So can you tell us about a, I have so many questions. I want to, here's what I'm just going to put some in the queue. So one question I want to ask about is just describe your day, because even though it's just yours, we can extrapolate principles from what you're doing, but talk about you, cause you were saying like you're teaching moms how to do this, whether they're homeschool moms or not. Do you know what percentage of people you work with are homeschool moms?

Yesenia Faiella:

I think that as my messaging has like shifted, more of the moms are homeschooling moms. I'm actually talking to them now. Yeah. That's cool. Or they're like, they were like, Hey, I've been considering that. So it's cool to see that you're doing this because I think there's still that, what you're saying can I do that? Because they have that idea of school is eight hours a day. So that means how am I going to fit eight hours of school? Cool. Yeah. For that. Plus my work, plus life and errands and, all the things I have to do in one day. And I try, that's my messaging out there is it's. It's not what you think, that's what I wanted. That's what I

Timmy Eaton:

wanted to ask you about then. So cause I, I know for sure that you have this spectrum of women that you're working with from very type a, to, to very kind of flexible personalities, right? You have the whole array. How do you help them? Because you've got some, you've got such an array of personalities so that you have to be teaching principles that will, and everyone's going to struggle with whatever, but even my own wife and I don't, and I don't know that she has an aspiration to. To do some kind of business, but I know she has the ability, like she, like whatever I'm doing right now with this homeschool podcast and the things that I'm doing on this side, she would do way better than me. I'm just honestly, but she, but her comment is always. No, I'm homeschooling. Like I really am. And I've got six kids and I'm, and they're, we've got from 10 to 20 years old and she is going, if I put my concentration into a business. There's no way I'd be able to do what I'm doing and have the same results with my children in homeschool. So that as a an example, but like, how do you help the array of personalities and women and implement these principles of you can have both these worlds?

Yesenia Faiella:

I think the biggest one is letting them know that they don't have to do it alone. That's like the biggest one. I share often the help that I get because I don't think that it's Beneficial to anybody to make it look like I'm superwoman and I have my business and I homeschool And I do everything all by myself. I don't And so the way that so i'll explain that by you know Sharing my schedule right the way that our schedule works is on monday and wednesdays We have a sitter and she comes from 12 to 5 and that's where I get to do my intentional focused work and I don't I think that You know, because there can be, again, it has to do with What society expects when you homeschool, you should be home with your children 24 seven, isn't that why you want them there with you? And so there's this pressure to be with your children all the time. And again, you just have to overcome it and say that just wouldn't work for our family. It wouldn't work. It wouldn't, if I didn't grow my business, then I wouldn't have the flexibility to stay home with my kids and homeschool them to begin with. So I need to get the help I need to actually bring about the life that I want to give my children. So yes, I have someone come and she comes from 12 to five. So on Monday and Wednesdays, we homeschool in the morning. And then she takes them to the park. They're having a great time with her and I can get intentional focused time on my work so that I don't have to work in the cracks of the day. I am not the kind of person that can work in the cracks of the day. I know that's a really big message to moms, especially like if you want to start a business, you can do this work in the crack of your days. I just can't. You don't

Timmy Eaton:

have enough. You don't have enough concentrated time to get something done. Again, to each her or his own, but I can just see that being a challenge. How do you get focused work done in the crowd?

Yesenia Faiella:

And I think that's where that. I think that's where so many women start to feel defeated because when that message is really just pushed into your face and you can't succeed and find the success that others are finding because they have help. That's why I want to share. I have help. I'm not doing this in the cracks of my day. Then they get discouraged and they think that there's a problem with themselves or, and it's no, there's no problem. You just, you're trying to do so many things at once and you can't pour into something enough to actually see the results. So I love to share getting help, whether that's outsourcing in your business, having someone come to watch your kids, asking family members. I think that a lot of people sometimes don't even rely on their own spouse, and I want to encourage that. I want to encourage women to know that we don't have to do it all. And because we don't do it all, we're able to then create the life that we want. We're not feeling overwhelmed or burnt out or defeated or deflated, right? Because we're taking that time and space to do the things that make us happy or that can, again, provide for the lifestyle that we're wanting to create.

Timmy Eaton:

You, and you just answered one of the things that I commonly ask is I say, how do you fill your bucket? But if you have it worked into your because would you say that fills your bucket doing that business on the side and or not on the side, but I'm saying doing your business and like taking that concentrated time. And I wonder again, there's such an array of personalities. There's no one size fits all. You chose to do it that way. Tell us about the rest of the week. That's Monday, Wednesday.

Yesenia Faiella:

Yeah. And so then on Tuesday and Thursday, she doesn't come. And because we've homeschooled. Early on Monday, Wednesday on Tuesday and Thursdays, I take my client calls. So I'm six hours behind like East Coast. So I have to have like morning hours of work because, 9am here is already 3pm on the East Coast. So on Tuesday and Thursdays, I will take client calls in the mornings. And then my husband will start their homeschooling with them. And then I'll come out and join. And then we have the rest of our Tuesday, Thursdays to That's it. Explore and do what we want because I've gotten again that intentional chunk of work done in the morning and on Fridays we have our co op where we have we're part of a wild and free co op that we go and it's like field trips or beach trips. And so we're with community and we're with my kids are. Exploring and developing their social skills that, there's all that, how would they be socialized? We get a lot of socializing in. Oh my

Timmy Eaton:

goodness. I think that question, I think that question died last year or something. Cause it's such a silly question now. And your kids are, what's your oldest 10 and a half, you said? Yeah and you're at a stage that that it does change with the stages, and and so one of the things I wanted to ask you was like do you have, do you know, are you guys like take it a year at a time about how you're going to do it? Are you guys like going, no, we love this freedom and flexibility. We're definitely going to continue through the high school years.

Yesenia Faiella:

I would love to say that I guess until you're, like, walking in those shoes, you don't know. And I do want to say, I do want to say that if my son ever told me, and I say my son, because he's my oldest, and so my six year old, we're just getting into formal teaching, right? So I use my oldest a lot in my examples, but, if he ever said to me that he wanted to go back, that I would, you Consider it and say okay, I want to follow his lead. I would probably be so deflated and no, why are you doing this? And honestly, we do have that conversation with him. And I ask him often do you still enjoy homeschooling? Do you think that you would want to go to school? And he's no, I don't want to go to school. I enjoy this. He has. A certain amount of flexibility to because we like to follow his passions and give him time like that. I guess that was really why I wanted to homeschool like one of. I think my biggest was connection I wanted for our family to have that connection and more time together but then also, and I feel like I put that pretty high on the pedestal as well, or on the, Where I prioritize is giving my kids time to figure out what they love and do things that they love, and I don't, we don't just sit around the table and do like curriculum all day like he loves editing videos like it's, he loves it and he's so good at it and so I make sure that he has time. He's filming his little videos and he edits them and I say little videos, but they're pretty good. So I shouldn't even take that word out. But, and, and he loves skateboarding. So he has his skateboarding. We take him to this a class that he has every week. And then he was also like in a drama class on Thursday evenings. And so it's just like really leaning into what is it that he likes and making space for that. I think we're definitely taking it a year at a time, but with the intention of it being we're going all the way through.

Timmy Eaton:

I have to, I, my, I definitely have my biases on this and like to each his own, but like my messages, especially with our kids. Cause so I did my dissertation before my oldest went into her freshman year in high school, grade nine. And that was the intention. I wanted to finish my doctorate degree before she started. And the whole purpose of that was to say, what, like exactly what you said we didn't know what it was like, we imagined we wanted to homeschool, but we just didn't know what it was like, or, just all the questions that people have. And until you're there, like you said, you just don't know. But man, if I could tell anything to homeschool families, I would say, and again, they have to make their own decisions, but. I just don't know why you would abandon the principles that you have seen bear such good fruit at the most important time. And so my encouragement to families is to keep rocking, man. It's especially because the flexibility and admissions officers and universities all over North America. And I would assume the world are more open to homeschool transcripts and portfolios. So many kids, neither of my kids had a, a. Diploma. It's just anyway. So I'm just so ready to talk to people about that because it's just, to me, it's like such a bummer to hear Oh, and then we put them in school and it's Whoa, at the worst time, man, because so flexible and you can just learn any curriculum. And have the most rich anyway. So obviously you can see I'm biased in that, but go ahead.

Yesenia Faiella:

No, I was gonna say, I think that like a big problem, why that's such a big problem too, is because. There's not enough people sharing the ending, right? And so I'm so grateful that you're like I've done this and I've had to go all the way through. And now I'm sharing this with you because I think that there's a lot of information about how to start and how to, start with young kids. But then people lose sight because they're like I don't know. How does this end? I haven't heard well,

Timmy Eaton:

man, it ends now, of course. Of course you can't dictate every decision your children are going to make and they go through puberty and they, that those are all realities, man. And they want, they see their friends going to school and that, that weighs on them and there's all those realities to deal with. But I remember people always saying to us as I was approaching those years, they'd say. Do you ask them every year if they want to? And you'd hear other homeschool families say I just let them tell me if they want to. And I'm just, all I'm doing is sharing my experience. I can't impose this on anyone, but my answer to my kids is I'm sorry. No, it's just too, this is too good. And I love you too much. And I care about you too much. And that might sound like an extremist position to some, but I just go, that's all right, that's your view, but this is so good and it is, it yields so much fruit, but And we're seeing that in our kids as they're serving in different in their service and in their jobs and stuff like that after high school that I just, I don't know, the principals are good and it'd be hard to go back. One thing I was wondering as you were saying what you were saying before, I feel like some things that that kind of make people not necessarily know what to do is they don't have a very well defined purpose that they're pursuing. So I was wondering if people were to ask you and your husband, if they said, Hey, what are the outcomes? What are the results that you want to see in your three boys by the time you're done? They hit 18 or they leave home or, whenever they leave home, what is it that you're after? What is it, what is the purpose of their education and your lifestyle that you've chosen? What is the outcome that you're hoping?

Yesenia Faiella:

Yeah, I actually posted this real on my social media the other day. And I, it was. Sarcasm, but there's some truth to it too. I said if I sent my kids back to school right now, they would probably fail. But if I sent them out into the real world, they would probably thrive. I want for my kids to be lifelong learners. I want for them to feel like if there's something I don't know, it's okay because I know how to learn. I know where to go. I know. I know how to find out. I know that I don't have to be boxed into I only went to school for this or I only went to school. My husband is, he's so like that and thank God, right? Cause he's It didn't have to be that way, but that's who he is, where he will just, something's broken, he will figure it out and he will fix it. Something I need, he does like all the backend on my website and like all of my tech. And it's like how do you do that? He's I figured it out. I know. And so I know my kids already have that in them. Cause they come from my husband, but I want to help them nurture that. I want to help them see that in in reality, right? Not just yeah, that's part of who I am. I want for them to see how that works. And so I want for them to be kind individuals. I want for them to be People who aren't afraid to jump and take risks, and I think maybe growing up in such an unconventional way will be a great foundation and a basis for that to be like, Yeah we've never really done anything according to the rules. And not that I want them to be rule breakers, right? But just to be able to see like, things are not How they look right. And we don't have to do things according to one certain way. And so I think like at the end of the day, if they are people who are kind, loving, they understand the bonds that we built here over these years together, their formative years, and then they go out and they start just, hey, today I did this. And I'm like, that's amazing, right? They're just trying new things and not, Not just staying to one, when I, when we graduated, I went to undergrad for criminal justice and I watched a lot of like CSI and all of that. And I was like, yeah, I want to be, like homicide investigator or whatever. I don't even know what I was thinking, honestly, but CSI was a show to watch, I guess at the time. And then when I graduated, I'm like, Wait, I have to be a cop or like a probation officer or parole officer. I don't want to do any of that. So I went to law school. I'm like, okay, let me just keep going and see, and so I feel like it just when you take that like one path, it just boxes you in. And then there's only so many things. And I just, I don't know, if I could have just explored more as a child, and my parents did the best that they could. And I love them. And I had a great childhood. Yeah. But I want to show my children like all of the different opportunities and options and possibilities so that they can lean into and they can lean into more than one, and then see where they want to go from there.

Timmy Eaton:

That's well said. And that is, that's a, there's a place I always start with families because if you can articulate what it is, it, maybe some people haven't even taken the time to do that, but they go, what is it that we're trying to do here? What are we trying to accomplish? And then that really does inform what you're going to do on a daily basis for the time that you have your kids. That's why this, that's why this podcast is called this golden hour, because you just got this short window of life and time to kind of instill that explorative interest and to allow that to blossom in a way that you can't do that. You just don't have the time to do that in any other option, but homeschool, like it just does not happen. You have the freedom to do it. And but if you can define like what you said, I want lifelong learners who are kind, who have, who understand the bonds that we've formed in these years, then that is going to fuel them no matter what they choose to study. So it's not about. Social or science or math. It's about learning and they're able to do it no matter what it is. And so that's awesome. So thank you for sharing that.

Yesenia Faiella:

Yeah.

Timmy Eaton:

What would be your counsel to like new homeschool families? If they were like, Oh man, I'm so overwhelmed. There's so much curriculum to sift through. There's. They're like, like you've said before can I, am I going to ruin my kids? What would be your advice to new homeschool families just starting out who are a little bit overwhelmed and struggling?

Yesenia Faiella:

Man, I think, again, going back to just like overcoming other people's expectations of you and what you said, getting down to Why you actually want to do this. I think that is, even though, I said, I, I learned about homeschooling through social media, like there can be that negative side to it, where you start to see what other people are doing. And then you start holding your standards to their standards. And it's about. Getting the manipulatives and the wooden toys and having like your whole arsenal of these tools. And I love it. You said wooden

Timmy Eaton:

tools, wooden toys. That's awesome.

Yesenia Faiella:

It's you start to measure your success by how much of that you have in your closet versus, how your day went, and what you spent doing. And so again, not measuring yourself to other people's opinions. What you should do or what they're doing for themselves, getting down to just like the nitty gritty of even just reading with your children, reading to them, like sometimes it's even they have to read to me and it's no, but like reading to them is also amazing and has great benefits. And I would say like reading things, reading books that are going to inform you in a way that can help you. achieve what your goal is, right? So like I was sharing I read a lot of books and I loved reading the read aloud family by Sarah

Timmy Eaton:

Mackenzie.

Yesenia Faiella:

Love that book. And it opened my eyes, right? Because I was one of those people who was like, they have to read to me. And then just reading her book that was like when people, when kids are reading and they're learning how to read, they're not actually taking in what they're reading. And so Then you ask them questions after, and they're like, I don't know. I was just reading these words, like one after the other. And so I was already doing read alouds with them, but I was like, man, I'm prioritizing read alouds. Like there, there'll be a time for them to read. And, so like reading things and just gaining that knowledge again, to further your goals. What is it that you want to do? I want to build connection. Read alouds were a big part of that, but now I also was opened up to the other benefits besides connection. And so reading. To inform yourself and to, I think the reading for me has shown me how to let go of those like expectations of school at home, right? Home school for me is not school at home. And we prioritize the home part of school. We did something crazy last October, we went on a three week trip and I'm sure people were like, How are you doing that? Like, when are your kids going to learn it? And I didn't take any learning material with us, but we went on a once in a lifetime. We went on a Disney cruise that sailed from Hawaii and it went to American Samoa, New Caledonia, Fiji, and then landed in Australia.

Timmy Eaton:

You don't need learning. You don't need learning materials. If you're doing that, man, international

Yesenia Faiella:

dateline, we went into different times zones. We had conversations about Those things, as they were living them we experienced culture. I want for people to see that learning is happening all around. I I think that if that is the first thing that you can, really feel confident in homeschooling, it's really going to set the tone for the rest of your homeschool journey, right? There's always learning happening. You don't have to sit down at a table and open a book. For that to count as learning, like life is happening around us and we can have conversations based off of, what happened today? Where did we go today? The sand at the beach and how, there's always something for us to talk about. So I would just encourage you to open up your mind to what learning actually is. Again, just pour into yourself through whether it's reading something or listening to a podcast or being in community with like minded people who are going to help you further those goals that you set for yourself.

Timmy Eaton:

So well said. And I just echo that because man we try to give terms that don't actually work. Like homeschooling doesn't work at all because for so many reasons but I like what you said, it's just, you're just learning all the time. You're learning all the time and you're living as a family. To me, like one thing I always say is that this is a learning and a lifestyle choice. It's just living like this is. And it's the best way to do it in my opinion, because you have the time together. And you have the flexibility to do it your way and customize it and really tailor it to your children and to your family. And man it's, I don't know that, I don't know why it's anyone's doing any kind of conventional education anymore. There's such a, there's such a cool way to do it. Thank you so much. Yeah. Yeah. Go ahead. I want to give you the final word and then also let us. Let us know where we can connect with you. Where can our audience connect with you? And where are the best places to find them?

Yesenia Faiella:

Yeah, I will add one more thing. I just thought of right now for that new parent who is starting, I want to let you know, don't stop after year one, because if you're going to judge, the entire journey off of year one will be hard. It will be hard. It's not going to be like we homeschool and it just made perfect sense and everything just fell into our laps and we figured out our rhythm and our groove and that might be someone's truth. I don't know. It might be right. It wasn't mine for sure. Like I was definitely like trying new things and okay, we'll try this and we'll try this and you have to, it's like failing to success, right? It's like failing until you find and you have to be okay with that. You have to be open with that and you have to know that Even if that year one, there's like minimal learning done in that traditional sense, they still learned a ton. And year two will be better than the last. And year three will be better than the last. And you just have to keep going because very few things that we start for the first time are a huge success right out the gate. And so we can't have that expectation for homeschooling. So I just wanted to,

Timmy Eaton:

And let me, sorry, I don't mean to chime in because, but that just struck a chord for me because, and the other thing is it doesn't have, the one thing that I'm trying to help families do is to start with in a better state because there is this overwhelmed feeling it year one doesn't have to be like, I like what you're saying. It's totally true. Keep going. F don't base it all on year one, but year one can like, just a little. My thing would be like, don't rush. There's no rush. I don't care if your kids in junior year, high school, whatever. You don't need to rush. These are like this idea that you have to do it a certain way is been imposed culturally or institutionally, but you don't have to you can totally do it your own way. And then the other thing is you can take as much time as you need to fashion it to your family. And so with those two things, year one does not have to be this brutal, you'll feel pressure for sure. And you'll feel like, oh man, am I doing the right stuff? But it doesn't have to be like, oh man, that was brutal. And then let me see how year two is going to be. It can be, you can chill on year one too. And still, if you're reading to your kid, they're outside and you're just spending time together. You can't go wrong. A

Yesenia Faiella:

hundred percent. And I think they just need to come into it with that foundation. Cause it's coming into it thinking we have to do all these things since the eight hour day. And there's all these curriculum. And if we don't get through the curriculum, if you're entering how you're saying with that chill, like I know. What needs to be done and anything above and beyond that is not. And I think, having that support and having that understanding is definitely going to make your year one a heck of a lot easier than someone who, thought they knew, but didn't actually know,

Timmy Eaton:

yeah, exactly. And your family is so unique. So you're going to do it your own way. And that's exactly what I'm trying to help families do. Tell us where we can find you and best places to find what you're doing.

Yesenia Faiella:

Yeah, perfect. So I actually, I have a my website is mama's next move. com. So this is mama of both worlds, but if you go to mama's next move. com, you can learn more about me there. I actually have a affordably priced course, it's 67 that helps moms figure out what their passion led businesses. And I just think it's a really great place to start. It's just showing you all those possibilities, right? The things that you're really great at that you probably don't think someone would pay you for, and that you're overlooking as that can't be my business. I love to say that. The easiest business to build is the one that is an extension of who you are. And so that's why I built this course, just to show all of these moms, the potential that they have and the possibilities that are awaiting them if they just lean into the things that they're already good at. So I'd love to, help these moms who are looking for either an outlet, like I was looking for that creative outlet, but also wanting that extra income, whatever that looks like for your family. I'd love to, be a part of helping them on their journey.

Timmy Eaton:

Excellent. Excellent. Now here's probably a common question that you get, but what if dads want to work with you?

Yesenia Faiella:

So I don't, I've never worked with a dad to be honest. And I don't, I had one dad, I'd reach out to me, but he was a family member. It was my cousin. But I've never had a dad reach out to me. I think that what I teach could absolutely be applied to its business. But I just take a different form. Because I know the struggles and the hurdles that moms come up against and like the mom guilt that we go through. But I think that it could absolutely be applied to dads who are in that same, that same mindset.

Timmy Eaton:

Cool. Yeah. And you've targeted your audience and that's a good thing to do. So well, thank you so much for taking time. That was a fun interview and so many good discussions within that. So thanks for taking time.

Yesenia Faiella:

It was awesome. Thank you so much for having me

Timmy Eaton:

enjoy beautiful Hawaii.

Yesenia Faiella:

Thank you.

Timmy Eaton:

That wraps up another edition of This Golden Hour podcast. If you haven't done so already, I would totally appreciate it if you would take a minute and give us a review on Apple Podcasts or Spotify. It helps out a lot. And if you've done that already, thank you much. Please consider sharing this show with friends and family members that you think would get something out of it. And thank you for listening and for your support. I'm your host, Tim Eaton. Until next time, remember to cherish this golden hour with your children and family.