This Golden Hour

73. Fitting Family Needs through Homeschooling with Ashley Forin

• Timothy Eaton

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In today’s episode, we get to spend time with Ashley Forin from Alberta, Canada. Ashley is a homeschooling mother of four children, ranging from  4 to 12. Ashley conveys her personal journey, from her childhood in British Columbia to her current life in Alberta. We discuss the challenges and rewards of homeschooling, the importance of creating a nurturing family environment, and balancing academic rigor with fostering creativity and curiosity. Ashley also talks about the emotional highs and lows of being a homeschool parent and addresses common concerns, such as socialization and the pressure of educating one's own children.

Books
The Call of the Wild and Free
The Wonder of Boys
Hold onto Your Kids

Resources
Brave Learner
Math U See
Teaching Textbooks
Five in a Row
Story of the World
The Good and the Beautiful

This Golden Hour
Free eBook Course
thisgoldenhour.org

Ashley Forin:

as the mother or father that you are to your children, you fight for them, you stand up for them, you will go to the ends of the earth for them. And so you find what you need to find more than a teacher would like you just do. And so you have the love, you have the tenacity to just go for it. And I would say, For homeschooling, you have to have the desire to do it.

Tim Eaton:

Hi, I'm Timmy Eaton, homeschool father of six and doctor of education. We've been homeschooling for more than 15 years and have watched our children go from birth to university successfully and completely without the school system. Homeschooling has grown tremendously in recent years and tons of parents are becoming interested in trying it out. But people have questions and concerns and misconceptions and lack the confidence to get started. New and seasoned homeschoolers are looking for more knowledge and peace and assurance to continue homeschooling. The guests and discussions on this podcast will empower anyone thinking of homeschooling to bring their kids home and start homeschooling. And homeschoolers at all stages of the journey will get what they need and want from these conversations. Thank you for joining us today and enjoy this episode of this Golden Hour Podcast as you exercise, drive, clean, or just chill. You're listening to this Golden Hour Podcast. In today's episode, we get to spend time with Ashley Foran from Alberta, Canada. Ashley is a homeschooling mother of four children ranging from four to 12 years old. Ashley conveys her personal journey from her childhood in British Columbia to her current life in Alberta. We discussed the challenges and rewards of homeschooling, the importance of creating a nurturing family environment, and balancing academic rigor with fostering creativity and curiosity. Ashley also talks about the emotional highs and lows of being a homeschool parent and addresses common concerns such as socialization and the pressure of educating one's own children. Welcome back to this golden hour podcast today. We have with us Ashley foreign who is living currently in Alberta Are you originally from BC you are? Yeah, I thought so. What part of BC are you from

Ashley Forin:

Vancouver Island? Oh, awesome. Victoria.

Tim Eaton:

Very cool. Very cool. So British Columbia for anybody who is not familiar with BC, I didn't say DC, it's British Columbia in Canada. Ashley is a homeschool mother of four and ranging from four to 12 years old. And she's been homeschooling for about six years. And we met just a month ago or so in person, but I know her husband from different events in the community. We live in a similar, in the same community. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And so Ashley, thank you for being here. Appreciate it.

Ashley Forin:

Thanks. I'm so stoked, Em.

Tim Eaton:

Yeah. I'm so glad you are agreeing to do this. So give us a little more about yourself, just a bio of whatever you want to say your family or where you grew up or whatever, it gives you some background and lets people get to know you a little bit.

Ashley Forin:

Okay I was born in Kamloops, but 6 months old, we moved to Victoria and that's where I grew up for most of it. I was in Langley for a little bit. My parents were divorced. And then moved back to the island. So I grew up there. When I was 19, I actually moved to where I live right now for a summer. And um, the small town. And then I've lived A lot of places, honestly, we've moved a ton. I've been married for 16 years and we have four kids. We've moved like I was counting it's like 15 times in 16 years. Wow. And then I moved a lot before I was married. So I don't know, I feel we were joking. Like we're like gypsies. Like we just two years was like our max living somewhere. And we beat it now. We just hit the three year mark living here in Alberta.

Tim Eaton:

So did we actually. Yeah.

Ashley Forin:

Oh really? Okay. Yeah. And it's we have a fixed mortgage for five years. So that was always our plan. We're like, we're now we're going to be here for five years and then I don't know, but we'll probably stay. I went to school to be a hairstylist. And got red seal certified. It's so funny because to go back to BC, I had to get red seal certified. I'm like, Oh, that's different cutting hair in BC, but okay. Anyway. And then I'm a self proclaimed photographer. I've just always loved photography and I love watercolor. I found a love for that when I lived in Toronto when I was like 22. Yeah. And so I love incorporating that into with my kids into homeschooling. I love nature. I miss the ocean and the forest. That's like where my soul is at peace. The most is in the forest. You must

Tim Eaton:

miss trees being from here. I do.

Ashley Forin:

I really do. We live like across from a field and it goes down to Leak Creek and that's like the forest of Cartston. I definitely miss that and the ocean. And yeah, I just love nature. I love singing. I love music and I love being a mom. I really do. It's the hardest thing, but I love it. So, And we've been homeschooling, like you said, for six years, so. Kind of crazy.

Tim Eaton:

That's a great introduction. Funny thing is when Sarah and I got married in 2002, we, the first thing we did was in our first semester, we were at the same university and we took a watercolor class together. And actually the professor, the girl that taught the class was a girl I knew. She was one of my friends. And it was like a night class. It was so fun to do together, but she had no like hesitancy telling me I was the worst one in the class at doing watercolor. And she was just like, because she knew me, she was straight up with me. And I felt pretty, pretty bad about that. But I'm glad you liked that. I might, my youngest daughter loves watercolor, but so that was a great intro, tell us some, so then how did homeschool come into your life? What was your first exposure and like, how did you get started with it?

Ashley Forin:

Yeah, so I went to public school. I was not homeschooled. It was something that I Like I knew about it, but it wasn't something I'd planned on doing with when I had kids or anything. So my daughter did go to kindergarten in grade one and then she just started like not wanting to go in grade one. She would cry like once a week. And so my husband like he's just he's sensitive. He's okay I'm not sending you. It's grade one. It's fine. Stay home with me and come to my job. Like he'd just take her to work or whatever. He's always been pretty flexible. And so we just were doing that the whole year, but then just, I don't know, I just got more. And then at the end of the year, she, I just remember one day I went to pick her up from school and she was in tears. She was just sobbing. And my daughter, Jaina, she's she's really tough. If she cries, you know, it's serious. She's that kind of person. She's really hurt or she's really upset. They do not come frequently for her. And so I was like, what is going on? And she was just bawling. And she wanted to come tell me about this girl. And so the girl and her mom was there, and then Jaina's other really good friend and her mom were there, and the three of us were listening, and Jaina was just going off about how this girl pulled her hair and made her throw pencils at her boyfriend, and just all these things that were happening to her, and it was just this drama, and I'm like, oh my gosh, this is a great one, and just listening to her, and she just really didn't want to go, and so honestly, we're like, no one's holding a gun to our head, we don't have to send her to school, and this was at the end of the year I took her out like a couple days early and I was like, we're homeschooling you. But how I came to that decision was not, did not come lightly. I had to research everything. Like I just had to go, cause I actually didn't really know anyone at the time that was even homeschooling except for my husband's boss who lived in the state. And we randomly at that time, Had a conversation with them and they, because you think oh, school, I can't do school at home. I can't do seven hours of school at home. Like you automatically think that for one thing. And so they were teaching us. They're like, no, it's like about an hour and a half of actual work a day, Ashley and Andrew. And we're like, what really? And she had been homeschooling for several years and she had four kids. And so that conversation really opened our eyes to. Whoa, this is possible. And then she recommended, I don't know if you've ever heard of Ainsley

Tim Eaton:

Arment, Wild

Ashley Forin:

and Free.

Tim Eaton:

Oh my gosh. Oh yes.

Ashley Forin:

She's amazing. So the Wild and Free community is this like huge wave of homosculine mamas. That's what they say. And so my friend referred me to that and I listened to every single one of her podcasts and I was always in tears after. I was just so inspired. And I just, if all of these women can do it, I can do this too. Because you do have a lot of fear and hesitancy when you're starting this journey and doubting yourself. And I don't know if that, I always still doubt myself anyway, but especially in the beginning and you don't even know what's

Tim Eaton:

so common throughout the whole journey. Exactly. Keep going. Sorry.

Ashley Forin:

Yeah. Yeah. And it's just you don't really know what does I wanted to know, okay, what does this look like though? Cause I never gone through it and I didn't see anybody else do it. When I was listening to the podcast, I'm just like, it's just so beautiful. And it's just bring the kids wonder back, let them have curiosity, let them live, let them give them their childhood back.

Tim Eaton:

It's

Ashley Forin:

It's such a powerful, it's such a powerful thought and desire. And it just, Sparked this desire and hope in me that I could do this. Honestly, those podcasts like really gave me and my friend that's you can do it. And so that was the beginning of everything for me. And then just I remember in the beginning calling like high schools and being like, so if you're homeschooled, what does this mean? And how do you get a Dogwood diploma and BC and all these things? And they had no idea, like no one had answers for me. Like I called. And then you had to research and be like, Hey are you going to go with the distributed learning school? And then which one are you going to go with? It's actually quite different than in Alberta.

Tim Eaton:

And

Ashley Forin:

I'm calling and researching and anyway, that's how I got started. And so for grade one for grade two, actually, so this was in 2018, that was our first year. And honestly, him, it was magical. We lived in this really small house that we were renting. And Victoria and and I painted, I asked the landlord if I could paint the garage and I painted it this like really nice, calming, light green color. And I had a carpet and I made our homeschool room in the garage

Tim Eaton:

and every

Ashley Forin:

morning we would open up the garage door and let the fresh air in. And we'd have a dance party and that's how we started like basically every day of the first year. And I have that fond memory. Yeah, it was really awesome. So I was just starting with my daughter. And then my son came in, the year after that, I can't remember, I think the year after that, but. So was that the summer, so

Tim Eaton:

did all the research, were you doing that the summer after her grade one year then?

Ashley Forin:

Yeah.

Tim Eaton:

Really? Yeah. That's so cool. I love that you were taking advantage of the Victoria weather and just open up the garage, paint that. That's so cool, man. I love that. I just love visualizing that.

Ashley Forin:

Honestly, we did that all year round because you can there, right? So basically I would open that thing up and. Just like halfway, sometimes all the way if it was nice and we would just get our fresh air. And that's where we did our homeschooling for some of it. And I just have, yeah, just thinking about it. There's so many good memories over the six years and it's just so fun.

Tim Eaton:

So like you said, that is so common. I love the way you expressed it because so many moms and families say it that way where they go I've heard of it. I know it's a thing, but what does it actually look like? So what did you do at first? Yeah what did you actually do with the day?

Ashley Forin:

So I had a theme like music Monday, cookery, Tuesday, watercolor, Wednesday, light life skills, Thursday, which later turned into like teacher Thursday. So they got to teach something that they wanted to teach me and the other kids. And then filter Friday or friendship Friday. And for the first three years, I was pretty consistent with keeping that. And then we always did math and science and all the subjects, but it wasn't like all for every day, especially earlier on. But I use the good and the beautiful when we started. I just different curriculum that I liked. I was, I would just watch YouTube videos on all the curriculum, Watch like math reviews, like 10 different programs. Cause I was like, should I do math? You see what teaching textbooks, like that's the math, like all these. And it's ah, so in the beginning it's tricky because. I didn't know my kids learning styles, right? I didn't know how they best learn. I didn't really know. So it's just, it's a learning process. And each year is different. And each year is different because you add in more kids or you have another baby or you move. And I think it takes, like now I feel like it's taken six years. I feel a lot more confident in like knowing how my kids learn. But that took me like, that took me like probably two or three years. And I feel even for my son, I dragged him along with what me and my daughter did, whereas like he's different and I've come to really see that. And so I'm trying to offer him a different path. And I think that's also where it gets tricky when you have kids at different grades and different levels and different styles and like how to cater to each one. It does get challenging.

Tim Eaton:

How did you come up with the Monday music and the Tuesday and that kind of thing? How did like that sounds like. You had like good plans right off the bat and did that for about three years. Like what, how did you come up with it?

Ashley Forin:

Honestly, I don't know. I'd have to like, think about that one. Maybe it was, I could have been inspired by something that I saw. I know poetry tea time was something that we often did and I learned that from Julie Bogart. Like earlier on, I read The Brave Learner and I just researched so much. And because I didn't know, I just watched a lot of videos. I was in the wild and free and got ideas from them, probably maybe the wild and free because a lot of the moms there do poetry tea time and the nature study nature journaling. And so I definitely was inspired by stuff with that. I would say if it came from anywhere, it probably was that place. And then just what I wanted to do too, like watercolor Wednesday. That was easy because I just, I always have loved it. So I was

Tim Eaton:

going to say, it sounded like a lot of those were your interests. And I love that. Cause if there's one thing that I'm trying to do with families is to help them customize their lifestyle. Again, I say it all the time, but I don't really use the term homeschooling that much when I'm talking with people. It's more what kind of life do you want to live with your kids? Like, how do you want to hang out with them? And how do you want to learn? And how do you want to live? And I love that you right off the bat, you were doing things that you were just interested in you personally, because that passes on to your kids. And then as you become familiar with their interests, you can adapt and adopt different things and incorporate that in, especially as they get older. And so I just love that you did that right off the bat. It's you customized it to your family. And Immediately. And then the research thing is totally that that makes me curious because Sara loves to like research, but I don't know that everybody does. You seem like you really like to research the stuff.

Ashley Forin:

Yeah, I do because I want to know what's out there and I want to know if there's maybe something better that I could be using. I just don't know about it.

Tim Eaton:

Yeah,

Ashley Forin:

like I just discovered five in a row. I don't know if you've ever heard of that. I've

Tim Eaton:

had them on this show. Yeah.

Ashley Forin:

Oh, wow. I already tried to use that concept of taking something and then putting all the subjects with that one thing. But that's just nice because it's set up for you. Cause one of the challenges that can come is just the mental load that comes with homeschooling, right? There's like endless things you can always do. And sometimes I'm like, Oh, there's just so much I want to learn, like planning the year. I don't. Plan the whole year at the beginning, because this was like, you don't know where things are going to lead. And it's very overwhelming to try to, I break it into terms, three terms, and then that's more manageable. But even then it's ah, there's just so much I want to do. And then again, sometimes my kids aren't really into it. And I got to try something else or,

Tim Eaton:

I

Ashley Forin:

love learning about new stuff, but it's interesting because everyone just does it so differently.

Tim Eaton:

Every

Ashley Forin:

family is so different and every kid. And so some people really love something like classical and they learn Latin and I'm like, heck no, that is not for us. Like, you know, so You just have to find what works and try things and not be afraid to try new things.

Tim Eaton:

Yeah. Excellent. That's so good. We do a similar thing even to this day. Like we have kids ranging now from almost 11 to 17 and we've had two that have graduated and are off on their own. We do that thing where we do days. So like Tuesdays are always nature journaling and there's an emphasis. And then like you said, there's like the fundamentals that you do every day or the consistent stuff, and we like that pattern., I hate to categorize homeschoolers because I think it's impossible, but that's probably more of a structured homeschool thing, rather as opposed to unschooling or something like that, but our kids look forward to it. They have a system, they operate on their own. And so I think it actually fosters the self directed learning more when they know, okay, here's some things that are going. And then of course they can pursue their own interests and you have all day. That's one thing I love about homeschool is it's like it's not like it ends at a certain time It's that you can be learning I hope that it's like learning is something that's happening all the time, right? It's not something that could be cut off by a bell or a time or something like that So

Ashley Forin:

yeah for sure. Although my son does say I just want to know when it ends mom. Yeah

Tim Eaton:

You don't say that

Ashley Forin:

sometimes like we just keep going one thing that I loved so much is learning with my kids.

Tim Eaton:

That's

Ashley Forin:

been invaluable for me. I have learned so much and things that I remember hearing about, it's like, Oh, this is how it happened. This is the backstory. What? Like my mind is blown. Like so many times. Yeah, it's like

Tim Eaton:

now it means something to you.

Ashley Forin:

I was so excited. Yes. And we're so excited. My kids are like, what's going on? Can you think of a specific example of that? I know that's

Tim Eaton:

hard to do on the spot, but can you can you think of a particular time where you're like, Oh man. Cause like for me, as you think about it, like I loved reading the story of the world. I don't know if you've read those to your kids, but we love those. I actually took a history. I did my undergraduate in, in history and Spanish teaching But as I read to them different books, and then that story of the world, I was like, man, I seriously love reading about this stuff. And I can't say the same in my past. And so I don't know, with a little bit more experience, it just has a little bit more meaning, but can you think of anything in particular where you were like, no, man, I love learning what I'm learning with the kids.

Ashley Forin:

I thought right away about the story of the world. Yeah. We've read done the first two volumes and we'll be starting volume three this year. And I'm fascinated. Yep. Yeah. By the books. Yeah. So many things. So I just thought about like Nero, the wicked emperor and Jerusalem and how he blamed everything on the Christians and how they had to go through and built all these under tunnels and made the sign of the fish to say, I believe, and that was in the sand. And I'm like, Oh, like you see that on bumper stickers, and like July is named after Julius Caesar and. It's just, there's so many cool stuff that you didn't know. We love learning about the Romans. There's a lot of ties to our words and things that we have now from that started in Rome. And I just, I love it so much. I will always do story of the world. That is like a staple in our homeschool.

Tim Eaton:

Same

Ashley Forin:

and my kids have come to learn, like when you learn about the Aztecs and then you make your own Aztecs hot chocolate and

Tim Eaton:

it's just

Ashley Forin:

so fun. It's so fun.

Tim Eaton:

And I think it's so cool that your kids will see that excitement and they talk a lot about modeling for your children and homeschooling. And I like that because they see mom or dad learning. Like when I. When I pursued graduate degrees, I liked, that it was deliberately being made known to my kids. So they don't know I'm still learning and I'm still and just learning alongside them is so beneficial. Plus it's like fun. I'm like, you were saying it's like totally enjoyable to go home. I remember hearing some of this stuff, but now I'm putting it together better

Ashley Forin:

yeah. What are the mechanics behind it? I know. Yeah. And some stuff I'm a little bit embarrassed Oh, I don't remember. I probably should know about precipitation and how, I don't know.

Tim Eaton:

It's math does that. And it humbles me every time. So I'm like, dude, you're on your own now. Cause I don't know what to do there. But I guess it depends on the person. But so tell us about something in homeschooling that you really have loved, like something that you're like an aspect of this approach that you're like, this is so awesome. What is it about it that you find desirable about homeschooling?

Ashley Forin:

I just love being with my kids for the most part. Okay. There's always flip sides to everything. Some days I threaten them of do you want me to put you in school? Honestly, I, the magical moments for me is when we're gathered around the kitchen table and we're all engaged in something. Yeah. Whether I'm reading a book and they're doing art, a lot of it is art projects because that's something that you're sitting and actively doing or often when everyone is doing math at the same time and the older two are, they're on their own. And then I'm helping my son and I'm like, yeah, we're all like quiet and learning. I love that. And I love just like the freedom and being able to just go out and explore with my kids. I really do miss that in B. C. because we literally could walk out our yard into forest, and so the two places that we lived before we moved here, in the Comox Valley, and we would just go and explore, and you just, one thing I love is that we just noticed things, we noticed the little ant carrying the load, we, that can carry 20 times their weight, we noticed the tracks of animals in the dirt, we noticed The moss on the trees and the crazy mushrooms, like the phase of the moon, like every night I'm like, what phase is it children? And they'll like waxing, whatever, like they just, it's, I love it. I love that we are observing and we notice things. And I know that's from homeschooling. I know it because I see other kids and they're just like, I don't know. I don't want to be judgmental, but they just maybe don't care as much like they just don't know. It's just a whole different lifestyle. It is.

Tim Eaton:

It's a totally different lifestyle and one of the obvious effects and it's so universal is that it deadens that curiosity. I'm reading a book right now and it's not a homeschool book. It's called Cracking the Learning Code. And it's by this guy named JW Wilson and it's all about brain research, but he's just saying he's this isn't like an argument. It's just it is like public education is killing curiosity. It's just so obvious because it's people dictating what you're learning. And when that happens and the way that you motivate us through a reward system, what that just, that kills curiosity, it just does that. And so it takes a, and I'm actually just reading that section right now. It's a long book, but but anyway, it's, so that, that's what's happening. When you say, I'm not being judgmental. It's, you're not, it's just, that's just true. Like it deadens curiosity. It kills the love of learning and everybody knows it. I, I don't know why people aren't looking for more alternatives, not necessarily homeschool per se, although I'm biased towards it, but there's so many ways to learn in different venues now that you'd think people would be branching out and they are like, it's growing like crazy in U. S. and Canada and all over the world. That's cool. Learning alongside them and seeing their excitement out. And I agree with you. I've I've interviewed so many people that are, that nature is a huge part of their homeschooling. You just said the phases of the moon. I just interviewed Nicolette and she does all the phases of the moon. With her art and homeschool. And everything she does is based on that is the phases of the moon. What about the opposite? What is something, what is an undesirable where you're like, man, this is an aspect of it. I just do not like or if you can remember just like a situation or a circumstance, you're like, man, I do not like this part of. The homeschool decision.

Ashley Forin:

I feel as a mother, I feel more exposed to my children because they've seen, they see more because when your kids are at school all day, if you're having a rough time, you're going through something, you can have that time to process, have quiet time. And I feel like because my kids are with me all day, every day. They see me freak out and sometimes they see the good, the bad, the ugly, and maybe if they're in public school, I could hide that a little bit more. So I feel like I'm exposing myself and I think that it can, there's good and bad to that. There's benefits of yes, I'm a real person and I have emotions and mommy struggles too. And we get through it and it's the resolve that matters more. But I think sometimes too, it just really depends on what's going on in your personal life. Like I've had times where I've just been so overstimulated that I just really needed to have more breaks. And I think that it's hard when you're having babies and. The sleep deprivation and just going through that. It's really challenging. So being overstimulated I've struggled with and just not feeling like you have time to process things that you need to those are struggles and sometimes my, like my boys can just be super annoying with fighting. And they're the middle, the two middles, but like they're three years apart. And the older one just takes on the younger one and then he freaks out and just Oh, this again, like me and my daughter's just Oh, come on guys. That's challenging, but I'm always trying I am like, okay, how can I improve this for like everything? And so it's Hey, what are outlets I can give them? I read this book called the wonder of boys and it was fascinating. Yeah. I think you

Tim Eaton:

told me about that. Yeah. Okay.

Ashley Forin:

Yes. Just the brain and how they, how it works and the connections that they make and like women say 20, 000 words a day and guys are like 2000, like things like that. It's just fascinating to me and how they need so much more movement. And so I'm trying to think okay. It's hard in Alberta because of the winters, right? I feel like this is where I struggle compared to where we lived before, but how can I get them active and make it more fun and play? Because I have more stamina to sit and get into stuff. And so I'm always like shorter lessons, like less, less is more, but it's a struggle. And I think there's a lot of pressure and I've noticed I'm always like looking at the moms and asking questions of homeschooling moms to see how they deal with things. And your personality comes out, right? If you're more laid back, you're going to be way more laid back. And if you're uptight and like type A, you're going to be like, Hey, at eight o'clock we're waking up and then we're doing this and blah, blah, blah. And, I'm on both ends. So I'd say I'm in the middle, but I feel like a challenge is the mental load of it all, and also just the pressure that you can feel that my children's education is in my hands, basically, and not wanting to do a disservice to them by maybe not being educated in certain ways that I could have helped them progress more. And because I just didn't know. But again, there's a flip side to that. There is. Like I'm always asking questions. Yeah. Even when I started this whole homeschooling journey, it was like, what is an education? What does that even mean? And how are the ways to get one?

Tim Eaton:

And the way I always start with families is I'll say, okay, like it's so worth it to take as much time as you want to say what do we want what is the end result? Of the learning and the way we live what is the desirable result? And if like you and your husband and your family actually talked about that really deliberately, and I'm saying everybody, not just you guys. And then you said, Oh, actually our highest aspiration is that our kids are good people who serve and. And lift people's spirits or something like that. Or somebody else might say our main goal is that we create mathematicians. Like by the time they're 18, we want mathematicians. Then with that purpose in mind, that's going to dictate and determine so much of what you do in the ensuing years. And so I always say, begin at the end in mind, and there is no end to it, but the idea that if you have your kids until they're 18 or 19 or on their own. And not that everyone decides that they're going to homeschool for that long at the get go, but what is the end goal of your of learning for you? I think that depressurizes some of the things that are causing pressure because we have as homeschool parents, we have like university in our mind. And are they going to get a job and are they going to find a spouse and all these things? And dude, they will, the people that have seen it go through all the way through like me and Sarah, we just go, I understand why people think that because we did too. But if you just trust, if you just stick with it and build relationships and focus on relationships with your children, they are going to be ahead academically and socially and in every way because they've been nurtured by their loving parents. And so it's just for sure they will. And yes, they have agency to choose how they're going to act and be and all those things, but the likelihood is so much greater when you have a concerned parent it's when we get in the way of that and we get too uptight and too white knuckled that we, we can throw things off a bit. But even then. There's so much grace involved and it's going to work out. So I just, I wanted to address that pressure too, because I feel like that's such a common concern for homeschool parents. There's you feel so much pressure. Cause you're like, how does this turn out? Yeah, I'm here to say it turns out awesome, man. And not everybody does it the same, but if you're, there are principles that if they're employed. It's not just going to work out. It's, they're going to thrive. Like it's going to be if not the best, one of the best options for their, the direction of their lives. You were talking a lot about the kids, seeing you go through all the emotions and all that. And I get it. That's humbling and sometimes maybe humiliating as a parent. But I wonder if that's also ultimately beneficial because they see you navigate the real things that they're going to go through, your sons are going to have wives and daughters and you're, Your daughters will become mothers and those are real things for them to see. And I always call it the economy of the home. Like it's good for them to see the economy of the home in action. And you have a baby and you take more time to just be with the baby and less time doing math or whatever it is. So anyway, any thoughts to all that?

Ashley Forin:

I think my husband's really good at seeing the bigger picture. He's better than me. I can get caught up in oh, a little bit of fear, but he really shares that. And I, deep down I feel like because it's not a path we've ever taken, so you really do have to have a lot of faith and I like to look at who are before me in the journey to be like, okay, yes, but he just has that strong belief already. He's just so stoked that. We homeschool. I'm so excited for our kids. And so I I need that to grab onto that. Sometimes I lose it. Site once in a while,

Tim Eaton:

that's huge to have that support from him, cause when they're, when you're lacking support, that makes it harder for sure. Is there somebody that like you said, and I think that's very,, Common. Homeschool moms to have somebody who's ahead of the game a bit. And somebody that mentors them. Do you have somebody like that in particular, or is there just several?

Ashley Forin:

No, I don't. I didn't really have it wasn't until the last year that we moved. So our third year homeschooling is when I found my tribe. That's like another thing from the wild and free. It's find your tribe. Yes. And I always kept to myself and I just, I don't know. I just, Sometimes we take a science class and do this, but we never really met someone that we like clicked with, but then my third year two of my friends from church started homeschooling. So there was like four of us and we met up twice a month we did nailed it competition. So we came to my house and we, the kids all paired up and made a cake and we judged it, like the whole thing, like stuff, like really fun things. And I was super sad to move because then we said goodbye to that. And there's a nice community here, like in Karsten of homeschooling moms. And I think they're all just such lovely women. And I've really appreciated that friendship for me. There's a couple that have older kids. And so I gleaned, from them, but not particularly, no,

Tim Eaton:

I don't

Ashley Forin:

really.

Tim Eaton:

And I'm not saying everybody has to, everybody has their own style, but I like I know Zara has found. That to be so helpful already you're like minded by doing something a little bit unconventional and, less in the system, but then within that, you can find people who do it way differently than you, and they've got great ideas, but it's just not your style or it's not your thing. Then when you find somebody who is, it's so helpful because they have. A similar philosophy, for example, like we really aligned with a lot of what Charlotte Mason teaches. And so Sarah has found people that have implemented the principles that she espouses. And of course it's adapted to each family, but it's been so helpful to just be like, Hey, how did you navigate this when your kids were in high school? And one thing that we've pioneered in this area is our kids play the high school sports So we've had lots of questions from people who are starting to homeschool about how did you do that? And are they allowed to and we've had to find out all that it's because they've researched things, they've asked those questions, they've gone through it and you find that people are really willing. To talk about it. Like we're always excited at the same time. We're hesitant to say, Hey, do it this way because Ashley's family is so different from ours and everybody else. It's good to talk principle, I think, and then let people implement it and apply it how they will, but. Something you can think about is like really connecting with somebody who's a little bit ahead of the game.

Ashley Forin:

I'm always looking, Tim, I do watch a lot of videos and I'm always talking, but yeah, I still, I haven't found like my tribe here necessarily, if I want to call it that, but that's another challenging part is it gets lonely sometimes because if you don't have someone that you're more similar to, you're kind of,

Tim Eaton:

Well, After we'll talk a little bit because I think I've got some suggestions of people you might talk to.

Ashley Forin:

Okay.

Tim Eaton:

I was going to ask you you're oldest is 12 and a half and you're coming into these youth years. First of all, have you had thoughts about what you're going to do when they hit the high school years? Or are you more the type that's like, I'm just going to let them decide and then I'll just support whatever they do. Or are you, no, we're homeschooling.

Ashley Forin:

Yeah. I'm more the latter. No, we're homeschooling. My oldest she doesn't want to go to school. There was a couple of years ago, maybe she was more curious about it and we considered, but she just gets, the benefits of homeschooling. And I don't know if it's because she's heard we talk so much about it. She's just regurgitating what she's heard, but she sees the value in it and she loves the freedom to be creative. And to learn what she wants to learn and have the time and just the phones are such as a silly thing in life now. And she just see that Oh, that's so lame. Like I don't want to go to school. Everyone's just on their phone and she, she just understands. So I don't know if it changes then I'm kind of like make a list pros and cons. I Maybe overthink things a little bit more my husband's just do it and whatever and I'm like no But this is this mess I always have to talk about things and he's oh man like Had this conversation with you. He's you're just going to talk to me and then do what you want anyways. And I'm like,

Tim Eaton:

Yeah, you gotta get it out though. I get that. You gotta get, sorry. It has to, she has to get it out. Then it clarifies as you put it out there. So

Ashley Forin:

yes, the women need to talk and they answer their own questions by talking, right? I don't know. We're considering, my husband doesn't want to, cause he thinks like school is jail, basically. That's his opinion, honestly. But my fifth grader next year might try the last year of elementary that he can. So I I don't know. They say, Oh, take it year by year. But I like to have more of a plan. That part is what kind of stresses me out, to be honest, because it just changes things if they go to school and then come back I'm thinking about the

Tim Eaton:

details.

Ashley Forin:

Now I can't use this, what I was going to teach you with this curriculum. And I don't know what you're using now to go to school. And then when you're back, where are you at? It's just, it really changes things. I don't want to go, Oh, you're in, you're out. You're in, you're out. Oh, do this year. And this I would like some consistency and to know what that looks like so I can build year by year.

Tim Eaton:

Yeah, you're saying it really resonates with Sarah and I, that's how we've approached it. And so to each his or her own but I agree with kind of what you're saying. I have talked to so many parents that say, no, this kid wanted to go in and then they went in and they're like, no, it's not for me. And they came back and I'm going, yeah. And I respect that. Like each family can do as they want, but I just, for me, I always use the word bummer. It's such a bummer because I'm like, you're away from the magic that's going on here. And why would I want that? I know what the school's like and I'm not demonizing it. I'm just going, I know what it's like. It's, school's about friends. It's not about learning. That's a by product and it's not that focused on. And and that depends on the family and whatever else. And like you said, it is so about phones and whatever. And so to me, it's a bummer. Because of what they could be doing, especially in the high school years for me, because that's what I did. My doctorate degree on, I wrote my dissertation on that. And I'm like, yeah, you could, but that stinks because you could do whatever you want. Instead of the Alberta programs of study, you can study anything you want. And totally make it your interests and make it meaningful to you and be with your family. And so I don't know and you still have tons of social especially in this community there's so much social opportunity through sports, music, art church, whatever people are involved in it as if it only takes place at school.

Ashley Forin:

Kidding. I think about three things that came to you when you were talking. First of all, I had this. So last year I actually sent My second, my oldest son to the elementary school here from January to April. My sister had passed away. My half sister had passed away and I was just, yeah, thank you. I was just really deep in grief and he has been, he's my hardest kid to homeschool. And so I just couldn't Do it. I thought that I had to do things a little differently with him, but I just didn't have I didn't have it in me at that time to, to do. I just needed him to do his work and cooperate more and he's been really hard. And so I was like, let's just try school something that he had talked about. He'd never been. So I had homeschooled him from the beginning. He went to a Montessori preschool and that was it. And so we tried it and I just get emotional thinking about it. Like it's the traditional leave your child when they're four or five, send them off to kindergarten, the mother's crying. And the mother's not, or the kid's crying or the kid's not. And you have that experience. And I still glad to not have that with him. I felt like we're all getting ripped off in this experience that this is happening to us. Like, why are we sending our children at five years old away all day? Like, why are we doing this? And I was really grateful that I didn't have to have that separation with him, but then I went through it when he was in grade three. It went through it and I just cried like it was hard and he liked it and didn't like it and whatever. I ended up taking him out before the end of the year. So he had that experience. And so I seen um, you know, he come home and just want to play video games or just chill and watch a show. He didn't want to do his learning with us because he'd already been in school. And it killed the magic. It, I saw it happen. And then he learned some lingo from school and different things like comes home saying like, what's up, bruh. And

Tim Eaton:

my daughter

Ashley Forin:

just like, who are you now? Like, I guess there's some positive things you got to inquire and have hot lunch and whatever, but I saw him change and that was really hard. And I saw the dynamic shift. And so for our family, that leads me to another thing of the peer orientation. I'm sure you've read the hold onto your kids, right? Gordon, you felt, yeah. I think about these things all the time of like how strange it is to be surrounded by at the same age. Children all day, every day and be learning from that and all the negative, so many bad things we learn. I don't know. I, it's just really interesting to me. We always talk, we always

Tim Eaton:

call it reprogramming. There's so much reprogramming when your kid goes to school and some people are like what are you going to do? Isolate? Like when people are like, are you trying to shelter your kid or whatever? The answer is yes, in some ways but the idea that you're like trying to hide from the world no, no, no, no. It's just do you really want to spend all your energy reprogramming your kid constantly, or do you want to build them. And then when they go out, they're building others. And I'm not saying that happens every time, but again, the likelihood increases like a ton when you're not constantly reprogramming because your kids are being raised by their peers. And yeah. Anyway, and I'm not saying that all kids who go to school are being raised by their peers, but inevitably six to seven to eight hours than if they're in a sport or something else. You're talking like six to 10 hours a day where the parent is not the principal influence. And some people are like, yeah, that's exactly how I want it. And I go that's, I have a different philosophy. I agree with Gordon Neufeld. I want my kids raised by us and not by their peers, but

Ashley Forin:

yeah, and to have a chance to know who they are, to know themselves, to sit with themselves and to explore their interests and their mannerisms and just who they are, their personality, like there's so much pressure in a school setting. A lot of cutoff freedom to really be who you are because you'll get bullied for it or whatnot, right? I just Or you'll be influenced. Yeah.

Tim Eaton:

Yeah. Yeah,

Ashley Forin:

you're influenced so you're changing and it's not something you would have been changing too I mean you get that at home and your own family to a certain degree, but it's just different when it's like these outside Influences and I really disliked that. I just really don't like that about the whole school setting and especially as they get older and in high school and just how everything was appearance based and popularity, and there's just so much, it's just so much unnecessary crap. I

Tim Eaton:

love the way you're saying that it's totally avoidable. I always say to people, one of the most common things that Sarah, when she's talking to other moms, just in the community, whatever inevitably, they'll talk about all the issues amongst the drama with friends or school things or whatever, or anxiety from test taking all these things. And I'm going, wait, the decision to homeschool. Erases all of those like not completely you still have drama with friends or whatever But not to the extent I'm all I'm saying is all school problems disappear if you're not at school Like they're just not there and there are tons And and I'm here to say that people Who want to can like more and more it's if you don't want to do that way And you've had your eyes open to that then Talk to me or somebody else, because there's definitely a way to accommodate that, that lifestyle. And people have to dig into it. I'm just being mindful of time. I'm looking at the clock and this is going so fast. I'm a little sad but let me ask you a couple more questions if you're okay with that. First of all, did you finish your ideas there? Cause you said a few things came into your head.

Ashley Forin:

Just another one about pressure cause you were talking about high school I've just been thinking about education and how you can relieve the pressure. I am a little bit leery as my kids get older, just because I remember how much harder school got. And so it's is that necessary for life or, how can we learn and am I not going to care about a diploma? Because I just don't want to have to go through that stress for my kids or put them under it. Some kids, they're just really academically. They're just really smart and it comes easier. Other kids struggle. And for those ones that struggle, it's just so much pressure and stress. And I just think, how is this helpful for life? It's I don't get those things. And

Tim Eaton:

it's also one way to do the learning thing. I can't tell you how many conversations I've had with colleagues and friends. Cause I teach a religious education and you'll have kids that come in and they have been taught that they're not smart because they're not book or academic in that sense. Yeah. Yet they're amazing with their hands, or socially, or some other way. And yet, I actually, in the same book that I'm reading, cracking the learning code, he basically says that I think it's 80 to 100 percent of your teachers are either linguistic or mathematic type learners. And 90 percent of learners are not those two things. So who is it that becomes teachers? It's the people that excelled in schools. And this is typical. And that's me actually. I, cause I went to a public school in Chicago and it was actually good academics and whatever else. But so you have these, this type of person that keeps perpetuating one way of learning and then people literally label themselves based on that experience K through 12. And you're like, why is that going on? I was just listening, have you ever heard of the podcast the art of manliness it's by Brett McKay. It's this a killer podcast. He's amazing. But he, he said today I was listening to it and his guest and they were saying how people always say find your passion and then pursue your passion. And there's part of that. But what they were saying is. You're going to do what you're good at. Find what you're good at and do what you're good at. And it's if a kid's not into math or history or something like that, I'm not saying they never do it, but you pursue the thing like watercolor, go nuts on watercolor or singing. If you're into singing, pursue that man. And if your daughter's into dance, then she should pursue that. Or if she's into chemistry. Then pursue that to its fullest, and then facilitate that as a parent. Don't have to conform to every subject. And then feel like you're dumb because you didn't fit the school mold.

Ashley Forin:

Yeah, exactly. I love the freedom that homeschooling brings, is you get to create. What you want to do and because in school you remember what you were good at like I loved choir That was one of my favorite classes, I liked poetry or whatever. I liked history I like social studies to a certain degree, those are the things that you remember So again, like you said why we spend so much time and It's a disservice to our kids in my opinion because it breaks confidence And self esteem. And I just want to foster an environment where my kids can know themselves and flourish in that way because we all have gifts. We've all been given gifts. We're all sent here as our own individual person and I want them to be who that is. And it not be taken away or influenced from outside of unlike, not minded people. Yeah.

Tim Eaton:

And I love your word. I just feel like it's so fitting. I'm going to use it more often. It's just not necessary. And it's not really conducive to what you're trying to accomplish as a family. No, it really isn't

Ashley Forin:

like the stress that children go through. When my son did go to grade three for that time,, I was like, I'm so glad you're when you're Almost nine years old. And can verbally explain to me what you're going through, because I think a lot of kids suffer in silence and they don't have the verbiage to come home and say, Hey, I was feeling so overwhelmed when I saw this happening. Or when this person was talking to me like this, or this kid treated me or the teacher there's just so many things that happen in their day. And that that's shaping you as a person. So it's what are the opportunities I can help my kids to have that are going to shape them in positive ways. And outsource and find good people to be around. And another thing you've said about they don't need to be around kids all day every day, get socialization. We have church, we have sports, we have friends. It's not like we don't have friends. That's a healthy amount. I don't think that school is a healthy amount.

Tim Eaton:

Our challenge always is cutting back like in our kids get mad at us, like, it's always Oh my goodness. And I think family friends is really a, one of the secrets of home education, like home education families typically hang out with like minded families, whether they're home educated families or not. And I think when you nurture your kids in that setting where your friends are their friends and their children and stuff like that. I'm not saying you're just you're exclusive or something, but that you foster those relationships because again, it teaches them about relationships you were saying about how, when your kid comes home and they don't really have the words to express what they're going through, that's another beauty of the homeschool mother who is home with or father who's home with their kids, they're the ones seeing. All these things that teachers get to see, which is cool for teachers too, but it's so cool. Parents are the ones that are seeing that. And and so you're more well versed in their personalities. Like, You know them better because you're with them and you, you know, what gets them excited or because you're observing that all day long. And so they don't even need to say it. What's going on. Cause you're observing it constantly. Like parents know their children, the best.

Ashley Forin:

That is such a gift. Honestly, that is such a gift to me. I just like my heart wants to break thinking that they would be elsewhere all day, every day. Like I would miss out on so much. You just miss out on so much. And I get to see all these beautiful moments and like with my daughter, I feel like, she was my first one. I'm carving the path with her. And that's how we started out. And I read and I've listened about these things about the attachment that comes and I've seen it this year. I've just been smiling inside because that she's done sports and different things. I see how she runs back to me. I see how we're connected, how we're like, close, how we just show public affection There's just so many things that are special that we've developed that I just know it would not be the same if I didn't homeschool her. I just know that it would be still good. It would just be different, but I can see the benefit of our relationship because of our lifestyle. And that's something that I just. It's truly treasure.

Tim Eaton:

Yeah. And you don't want to give that up. I like the the this is called this golden hour podcast because, it's true. It's not like you don't have a relationship or like moms that don't homeschool don't have good relationships, but it's just a fact that there's more time you have more time with your kid. And so you foster that relationship and fact is you still struggle with some of your kids and whatever but it, again, it's a matter of likelihoods. I have three questions. Are you okay with that? Yeah. Oh yeah. First of all, what are the most relevant issues in the homeschool world right now? What are the most relevant topics that and I'm not saying you can speak for everybody, but just in your view, what are the most relevant issues that are surfacing that homeschool parents should be aware of and considering and concerned about

Ashley Forin:

emotional intelligence, I think is a super relevant topic of how to model that to your children and to be that, I think this generation I'm turning 40 this year, it's. Such a different way of parenting. And if you're, more self aware and open to improving in those ways, I think that this learning how to do things differently than what was done with us is super important. And personally, I'm just on a real journey, like personally, I've been on one for many years. And so for me, that's just. Really important to model, try to figure it out so I can model that to my kids because how you deal with relationships are the most important thing. That's number one, because it affects every facet of your life, like your job, your employer, who you marry, like everything. And so I'm just really working on that. And that's a hard one. That's hard for everybody. And some people struggle more than others. So I think. A relevant issue is teaching our kids emotional regulation and emotional IQ.

Tim Eaton:

Yes.

Ashley Forin:

I think that's super important. And sometimes I feel like I'm failing at that, to be honest. And other times I'm like, woohoo. And for

Tim Eaton:

sure, all of us. Yeah. And maybe that's tied to so many things that are common right now. Like, why are we talking about so much about emotional intelligence these days and anxiety and depression? And I, there's probably all these companion concerns, like social media and. Now with the advanced technology, I am, I embrace the advances in technology. We just have to make sure that we use them as tools that are beneficial cause they definitely have the potential to be destructive. And

Ashley Forin:

but I think

Tim Eaton:

a lot of these are tied together.

Ashley Forin:

Yeah. That's a huge, relevant issue is just social media and phones. I don't have iPads in our house so that's not really a concern for us right now. And my kids are all like, yeah, I'm not getting full until I'm 16. And I'm like, yeah, it'll be a flip phone. I don't know,

Tim Eaton:

it's

Ashley Forin:

just unnecessary. Again, it's just unnecessary. It's like, why am I exposing my kids to this thing that I even have a hard time handling? It's past them. It's, I think the world is not even fair.

Tim Eaton:

It's not even fair to them. No, we're totally going to look back, man. We've been saying that forever. And frankly, I'm so sick of it. I'm like, I'm so sick of having to. Like argue about phones when I teach or with my kids, I'm just like, they're so lame, man. I'm like, I want to just get rid of it all.

Ashley Forin:

I know. It's man, I want to go back to little house on the prairie when they didn't have to deal with this crap. Like why can't I just be, more simple? And holistic and just

Tim Eaton:

well, and the challenge is teaching them how to really use them effectively and as tools because they are great. They are great tools. But it takes some effort to teach that.

Ashley Forin:

Yeah, totally. I think that we're fine in that way. So far my kids, like my oldest totally sees it. I'm like, she gets it,

Tim Eaton:

so that's good that your oldest, you can get that kind of support for the other kids.

Ashley Forin:

Yeah, I think sometimes it's homeschooling too. One thing I think is I felt at times, like it's a long day, to feel, sometimes I feel like I got to fill the time. Like my kids love playing. They just love, they love playing like imagine of clay. They don't get bored very often. And when we're outside, they're just off exploring. So I love that. But sometimes my younger, I'm bored mom. But that's an issue with Just having, I feel like if they go to school, that's seven hours a day, you don't have to worry about basically is what I'm trying to say. Homeschooling, you really have to just add more in. And

Tim Eaton:

no, I think that is what I'm talking about. That's, I think that's really relevant what you're saying. It's because that's a challenge. It's it's true. It's we believe in exploration and curiosity, but the fact is it can be a long day sometimes and it's, it can be hard sometimes, or maybe right now a parent isn't totally attuned. To what their kids interests are. And some kids don't know what they're interested in. That's just some are so clear about that. And they're like, man, I would pin insects all day long. And other kids are like, I don't know if I care about anything, but playing basketball or whatever it is. And so it's hard sometimes. That's so I think what you said is very relevant and I'm sure we could come up with more. I just want to ask you two more in, in the interest of time here. One, what is what are like topics that you would be totally Interested to hear on a podcast like this, like when you would tune in, what kind of stuff do you want to listen to

Ashley Forin:

I want to hear about everything you always post. I love everything you put up. I think I like hearing about different curriculums just cause I'm curious because we have to teach our kids, so you need resources, right? So I'm always curious about what people use as resources for that. I'm also curious about, homeschool rhythms what does your day look like? And what's your flow? And how do you get it all in? How do you make sure that you're doing the science and that doesn't go to the wayside? So I'm curious about that. I'm a pretty open book, I would talk about, harder things. For me, I struggled even with the wild and free kind of set up was always so beautifully curated and it was just like this magical world. But how do you teach math in that? We can't just count the acorns and count that as math. Can't add the stick with the acorn and that's math for the day. So meshing the academic of what they should or need to learn with the curiosity and with the wonder and excitement of learning that's been a challenge to mold together. But I'm just always curious of how people make that work because I've seen like it's one side or the other, and I'm just on a, I'm on a path and like a journey to mesh those two. And I feel like I, I feel like we do that, but. I don't

Tim Eaton:

know. You just made me think like this question and it's I just ask it to myself and I think it would be a good question to ask a lot of us homeschool parents and maybe just everyone in general, parents in general. But the idea is this, based on what you were saying about the homeschool rhythms and what do you do actually with your time with the kids? I was just thinking. If I could see myself in the future, if you could see yourself in the future with all your kids and they're grown up and they have their own careers and families, whatever. And if you were to look at hindsight and you go, what would I have not done had I known it was just going to turn out like this? Which is hard to say because you don't know what's causing effect there. Because I did this, is this what contributed to who they are? And inevitably it is. But I guess what I'm saying is if I knew that what this was all about was just my kids developing a love of learning and just developing their character and that was actually enough even for the academics, then maybe I wouldn't have cared that much about science and math and certain subjects, it would just be like, are you learning and otherwise we really are. Becoming a lot like the school and saying, here are the fundamental subjects you have to get, or else you can't do well in the ACT and you can't get into university because that's not even true anymore. That's not even true. And so I just wonder if I was more deliberate with Sarah what would we maybe not pursue so fully? If we really understood that they're just going to turn out. Awesome by developing their characters and I was just talking to Marlene Peterson who did, who does libraries of hope and she was saying the number one thing is relationships and you have already said that in this interview, like it's relationships and so anything that gets in the way of that is counterproductive. But anyway, I don't know. Sorry, I didn't mean to go off of that, but you're making me think things.

Ashley Forin:

No, honestly I, I think about that all the time. Everything that you just said is like, what is necessary? What isn't, what am I putting pressure on? I'm feeling this like pressure to do with it. Is this really going to benefit them? How can I offer something different? Like it's always, it's observing and. Evaluating and it's never stagnant, it's always growing and learning and changing. And so I'm asking those questions too, because even this year, I feel like, Hey, we got through our math and English, but sometimes that was like the day and I'm like, this is lame. And my kids they can kind of get, I don't like school cause it's yeah, who likes that? But like at the same time it's necessary. But then again, like you said, how necessary. And yeah, so I don't know. It's so individual to the, to answer those questions based on the child. There's so many levels and layers to that. Hey

Tim Eaton:

yes,

Ashley Forin:

it's not, there's not one answer, but

Tim Eaton:

I like how you're saying it's more probably about the grappling of it than it is some definitive answer. It's just good to be in the mess of it and to be in the grapple and be in it.

Ashley Forin:

And questioning it and asking like what is necessary, it's the questions that get the brain flowing and to be able to come up with new solutions to things. And it's super important to question like that. I feel like people that homeschooled, they are the questioners because they question something different. It's a path that you're taking that is not carved out for you. And it's. You're the minority. And so you have that mind and it's so fascinating though, because we grow up just like on this conveyor belt of Oh, you've got a school. This is what you do. There's this path, right? But it's that is not like there actually isn't there's many other paths and so it's actually exciting to be carving that out and exploring, but also stressful and also pressure and also doubtful am I doing this right? And I don't know. It's a lot. I like when people

Tim Eaton:

use the word tension, like being the tension of it. Dad answer was so good, by the way. I thought that was perfect. And I think the idea is be willing to change, be willing to adapt, be willing, be flexible and and go with the flow of your family and your kids. Okay. Last question. And we'll finish this up. I ask often, because I think it's really important. If you were talking to a sibling or a good friend was like, I'm thinking about doing this, but I'm so overwhelmed. I'm like, can I do this? I don't know if I like my kids, all these questions that people have. I don't have a teaching degree. But like what what's your counsel to new families who are stressed out about it, but they know they want to do this. This journey.

Ashley Forin:

Okay. Before I started, I had two major fears or just set like holdbacks of hesitancy. Two of the things that you actually said. Number one was, I don't know if I could be with my kids all day, every day, which sounds So funny, but it's anyway, because you're not it's a

Tim Eaton:

reality man,

Ashley Forin:

right? They go to school. So you're so that was the number one question that I had. I don't know.

Tim Eaton:

But that is a good one. And people can be really unempathetic with that one, because they could say, Oh what's everyone's problem. I love my kids. And it's not a measure of your love for your kids. It's just harder for some personalities. Like we shouldn't draw conclusions about somebody if that's their reality, because it's hard for some people to be with their kids all day. And that's not a. That's not a lack of virtue or something.

Ashley Forin:

And it's hard. It's hard in the young years. And there's lots of factors that go into that. So it is challenging. But that was one of my big things. And then the second one was like I'm not a teacher, right? How am I supposed to teach my kids? And so I would say to those things and what I've learned is yes, you can be with your kids all day, every day and love it and thrive and create an awesome family culture, and it is. The greatest gift that you will ever choose to have. Honestly, it is this golden hour. It is. I get emotional when I was listening to your podcast and hearing that. It's so resonates with me. And then my second fear was, I'm not a teacher. I'm a mother. I teach my kids already in so many ways. And yes, I can learn and I can learn with them. And if I don't know, I find the answer. And as. As that parent, as the mother or father that you are to your children, you fight for them, you stand up for them, you will go to the ends of the earth for them. And so you find what you need to find more than a teacher would like you just do. And so you have the love, you have the tenacity to just go for it. And I would say, For homeschooling, you have to have the desire to do it. You have to, otherwise it won't be a fun experience for anybody. You have to desire it in your heart and you have to know your why's and they will change and you have to evaluate and have support. Like definitely it makes a difference to have support and have like minded people in your corner. And you can do it. Everyone's going to do it differently, I had this notebook that I bought for something years ago, and I ended up using it for home school. So When we first started, I had to I had a learning consultant that I would converse with weekly. And so I have to tell like minimum three things of what we did that week. And so I kept a notebook and I wrote down because I would forget what we did on Monday if I did not write it down. It's just that would go.

Tim Eaton:

Yeah. So

Ashley Forin:

I kept this notebook and on the front it had this quote. And you would know it, I'm sure, by Ralph Waldo Emerson. It's a famous quote, but I didn't really realize until later it was on that. And I'm like, how fitting is this? And so this is what I would say. He said, do not go where the path may lead. Go instead where there is no path and leave a trail. And it's so powerful. And that's what you're doing as a homeschooling parent. There isn't a path for it. There's a way more resources and help now than there used to be, but you are carving where there is no path in and leave a trail. And so I hope my kids will look back on this experience and be grateful for it. They might remember me yelling at times and whatever,

Tim Eaton:

but that's

Ashley Forin:

That's like part of life,

Tim Eaton:

but

Ashley Forin:

You can do it. That's what I would say is you can do it and it can be amazing. It's going to be hard to, so I don't want to sugarcoat anything, right? Opposition and all things. And so you got to pull your socks up and when the days are crappy, you know what, throw in the towel and just sit and be with your kids. Go outside. You can do what you want to do. You got to follow your heart.

Tim Eaton:

Yeah. Awesome. And I love what you said there. Like it's going to be hard anyway. And they're going to benefit from it. I loved everything you said that it was so good. And I loved all your answers. I'll give you the final word. Is there anything else you want to say before we shut this down?

Ashley Forin:

There's always so many things to say to I just, I think that it's really important to support each other in this journey. That's why I really do appreciate your podcast because it's for. People like you say, it's for new homeschooling of how to do it, but it's for those who do and need to just have that reformation and that support. But it's, I just think about why are we here on this earth and how can we. Just leave and create something beautiful. And I think that homeschooling is that there's just so many precious, beautiful things. There's just so many positive things that can come from it. And just loving our kids and being With your family. I just think that's invaluable. They get one childhood. I want to spend it with them.

Tim Eaton:

They

Ashley Forin:

have the rest of their life to be an adult. I just want to let my kids have a childhood.

Tim Eaton:

Amen. So many good answers. Not that people need to be sad if they didn't to choose this and would have chosen it. But I agree. I know Sarah's mom is always Oh man, if I would have understood how things could have been, I would have done this. And so she laments that but man, she is like the homeschool grandmother of the year. She's amazing. So you can you can always turn to it at some point, but thank you so much for your time. I really appreciate it. You guys, this was Ashley foreign. Thank you for taking time with us today.

Ashley Forin:

Oh, thanks so much for letting me be here.

Tim Eaton:

You bet. Have a wonderful night.

Ashley Forin:

Okay. You too.

Tim Eaton:

That wraps up another edition of This Golden Hour podcast. If you haven't done so already, I would totally appreciate it if you would take a minute and give us a review on Apple Podcasts or Spotify. It helps out a lot. And if you've done that already, thank you much. Please consider sharing this show with friends and family members that you think would get something out of it. And thank you for listening and for your support. I'm your host, Tim Eaton. Until next time, remember to cherish this golden hour with your children and family.